My Precious Malia,
Change, the one thing each of us can rely on in life. Yet you don't like change. It scares you, makes you feel vulnerable and nervous. You will ask me "who coming today?" Each morning you like to know your schedule, this is new for you to ask this, but it's been a wonderful for me to know what is on your mind! Change comes slow with you. Your teachers are still working with you on things that you have been trying to learn for the past 3 years.
But this week I have seen you make TWO big steps! You started cheer leading last Friday. I wasn't sure what to expect, there were a few ways it could go bad. You would cry and refuse to go in, or get in there and back out (which would entail crying, screaming, and running away) but you didn't. You were nervous but excited also. Breckell has been going to gymnastics since March, so you have been to the gym many times which helped a lot with you going into your cheer class so BRAVE! You were so funny, when we got out of the car you took hold of Breckells hand, and shewed me away with you other, "go mom go." It was your way of telling me that you were going to do this on your own. I told you I was going in to watch you, but I would let Breckell take you it! What a big step for you little doll!
Your second big step was huge for daddy and I! Your primary teacher has been working so hard to help you go to class. After 3 months of her coming to our home and you having fits when it was time for primary, you started going to class. But just 4 weeks ago the Primary President Sister Houseladen called me and said that your teacher was moving!!! She is amazing and was thinking of you, I gave her two names of women that you knew who you would feel comfortable with. One of the women was Liz Duthie, she was willing and able to teach your class! You have loved going to class ever since, and daddy doesn't even have to carry you anymore! Last week he walked with you and before you two got to the door you said "bye daddy... go" with your shewing hand! To top it all off you stood up with the other children during the primary program! This is the first year you've ever done this! You didn't have a speaking part, but we didn't care! You were up there, and enjoying it! Dad and I both know this is due to your teacher, you wouldn't go up until you saw her! She has been a blessing, a true gift in your life! You are making changes Malia, no matter how small, they are changes, you are growing and learning! You are a treasure in our home!
xoxo
Love Mom
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sleeping
Dear
Malia
You
woke up at 6:30 a.m. Which was sleeping in for you! You must have
woke up during the night though, because there were lights on, but
you were sleeping sound in when I peeked in on you at 6 am.
When we first moved into this home Dad and I woke up early to the
sound of Timbrlee dragging you into the house, you kicking and screaming. We raced downstairs to find that you had gotten up early in
the morning and walked out the front door!!! You are a runner, you
don't like to stay by us all the time, and if Timbrlee wouldn't have
found you when she did you could have ran off and gotten lost. That
day Dad and I installed locks up high on each outside door except the
sliding back door. We wanted you to be able to go outside anytime
you wanted, so we put a lock on the side gate so you can't run off
again. Whenever you are home the doors are locked. It can be
trying sometimes, like the time Dad came home late from work and
Timbrlee had locked the top lock and we were all in bed!! Dad had to
jump the 6 foot side wall! Poor Dad! :)
Each
morning is always chaos with you! Big or small, there is always
something! This morning Timbrlee was packing her lunch and she
had a cupcake on the counter that she was going to add to it, you are
fast, you grabbed that thing and took a bite out of it faster than
lightning. We all know to guard things on the counter or rooms
carefully because we know what you are capable of, if you are in a
mood you will tear, spill, eat, brake or throw anything close to you.
I can put you in time out or talk to you about making good choices
but it doesn't even phase you. You would look straight at me and do
it again just after your punishment. We have found a few things that
motivate you to make good choices though! One is your Ipad, you love
it, it's your lifeline. You carry it everywhere with you, you have
become a master at using it and can play many games on it. Your
favorite part is pictures, music, and a movie called “Little Play
Dates” it's video footage of children playing with kids music, a very simple video, but you have it playing continually throughout the day! The other
punishment is sending you to your room, you don't like this either,
so if you aren't in a complete fit I can threaten to send you to your
room or put your Ipad in time out these are your punishment.
After
your bath and dressing we lay down together on your bed, which is the
floor. You have your own room with a beautiful queen bed and you
prefer to sleep on a thin blanket on the floor. You say “I yike
it” I guess it gives deep pressure to your body.
Along with
autism you have sensory integration disorder. This is a disorder
that makes your five senses hypo or hyper. Your touch is the most
dominate, you need lots of feeling, you like your hands and face
dirty. At dinner time you pick up your food and squish it in your
hands, or put it on your face. When we are at the park you will take
sand and rub it on your skin. You enjoy mud baths, jumping,
swinging, rolling, bouncing on your bouncy ball, kicking the wall...
the list goes on and on. My favorite is when I touch your arm or
stomach, it seems to put you in a trance when you are in the mood. I
gently stroke your skin and you get a far off look, your body relaxes
and you freeze! It's always magical for me, it's a connecting moment
for me. Knowing that I am serving you in a way that you enjoy. This
will only last 30 seconds or so, but it's wonderful! Every night we
massage your body with a weighted rub. You enjoy this also and it
helps to relax your body. You sigh a big sigh when I'm done and I
know your body feels centered! We read books and sometimes this is
when you will talk to me, it's always short, and I have to piece
things together with the information you give me, but it's another
way I can connect with you.
Oh
Malia, your a gift from God, I know that It's an honor to be your
mother. Heavenly Father has entrusted you to me, although it feels so
overwhelming at times, I feel that you may be our families ticket into
heaven. The lessons you teach us daily are priceless, you are an
angel to us all!
I
Love you Malia
-Love
Mom
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Lauren's letter to Malia
Lauren has been an angel, a true heaven sent to our home. In Arizona they offer an amazing program to help people with special needs. She is paid to come into our home and help me with Malia, but she has become not just a friend to us, but family to us. We love her, and this is her letter to Malia!
My
Dearest, Craziest, Sweetest Malia,
Today
was a normal and wonderful day with you. Whenever I am blessed enough
to be able to have time with you, I try to make things easier for
you. We always go to places you want to go (usually Target, Wal-Mart,
the library, or to my house) and we do things that you love! I have
grown to love them too, because I know how much joy those little
things bring you.
We
went to my house and you did something funny, so I called you a silly
goose… You thought that was the funniest thing you have ever heard!
You did your laugh, the one where no sound comes out and your mouth
is just wide open. I asked “you’ve never heard that before?”
You couldn’t answer cause you were still laughing so hard, so you
just shook your head slightly. I teasingly asked you if you knew what
a goose was, and you just about couldn’t stand it… you were
laughing so hard! So I pulled up a picture of one and man oh man!! We
had a hay-day laughing our heads off!
ON
the way home you wanted the music on (of course you did… you LOVE
music). It was your turn to choose the song cause I had chosen the
last one. You chose “Just the way you Are” and sang your little
lungs out. At the end of each sentence you will sing the last
word.”...SMILE... WHILE... WAY YOU ARE!” We danced and had so
much fun! We always do!
You
used to splash me like crazy during bath-time… I would look like I
just went swimming, but we’ve been working on that! And you are
doing so much better. You got dressed mostly by yourself with a few
prompts from me, and when you were all done and showed me the
beautiful job you’d done I told you good job! But…your shirt was
on backwards. I told you the tag was gonna itch you all night. Haha
you said “I pomise (promise) I yike it”. When we promise, we use
the most binding kind of promise… a pinky swear :) you always hold
out your thumb instead of your pinky, it is so endearing.
When
I put you to bed, you teased me, in your sweet voice that I love sooo
much, “Yowen, you not mawwy Danyo” (Lauren you not marry
Daniel)…I laughed and told you “NO WAY! I love him, you can’t
have him.” You kept teasing me and said “You not mawwy him, cause
I go mawwy him, I yike him.” (You not marry him, cause I'm going to
marry him, I like him.” We joked about it for quite a while, but it
didn’t get old. You were so cute, and I probably deserve it. After
a bit, I started to fake cry, and you told me “is okay, we bof kiss
him ganight”. So I got my phone out with his picture as my
screensaver, and we both kissed him goodnight. :) You have such a
smart and FUN sense of humor. I wish more people could see it! It is
one of the things I love most about you.
Then
I read you a story (Franklin of course… or Flaygan as you would
pronounce it), rubbed your back, made sure your fan, music and socks
were all on, and you had your snack in a bowl next to you with a
sippy-cup of water. I told you I love you and kissed you goodnight.
What
a wonderful day it was!
I
love that we are able to connect in our own way, and it is a
beautiful thing to be a small part of your life. I see such a light
in your little Spirit, Malia. You are such an extraordinary little
girl. You have blessed my life in ways I don’t think many could
understand. Your smile cheers me up even on my worst day. Your laugh
makes the hard times worth it. Your love lights me up and makes me
remember the important things in life.
When
I look at you, I see an example, a light in the darkness, a pure
heart, a friend, and above all… a Daughter of our Heavenly Father,
a Child of God. You and I were placed together for a reason… I
think more for me than for you. You are an angel that God knew I
would need in my life, and He sent you to me. I will be grateful for
you and to you through the eternities Malia, and cannot wait for the
day when we are able to talk to each other, reminisce on our times
together and the memories we’ve made, the laughs we’ve shared.
But especially when I am able to tell you all these things in person,
and know that you understand every word I say, and know that it comes
straight from my heart. I love you more than words can say! I love
you
Love
Always and Forever,
Lauren
Monday, September 17, 2012
You make us laugh
Dear Malia,
You can make us laugh, you will talk about the most random thing! We were sitting around the dinner table having our Sunday dinner, we were taking turns telling stories when out of the blue you said "Lauren tuted in Walmart" I turned to you and replied "she did, and what did you do?"
"I laugh" then you covered your mouth with your hand and did an opened mouth laugh! The whole table laughed with you, you had shared a memory with us! We felt like we were apart of your world for a moment. Then it was over, you turned to your food and didn't share anymore.
You were invited to a birthday party, you don't like birthday parties, especially your own. I was thrilled that you had been invited, at age 7 this was your second birthday party that you've been invited to! But I was unsure what to do. This boy was in your school class, but his needs aren't as sever as yours, I decided to have you pick him out a present and I would go with you to the party. As soon as we pulled up to his driveway you started to panic! You could hear the kids playing in the backyard as we exited the car, you reached up for me to carry you and I did. As we rang the doorbell you heard a dog bark, the door opened and you burst into tears. Your legs wrapped around my waist and your arms clung to my neck. You buried your head in my neck and I knew there was no way we were going to be staying for the birthday party. Your teacher was there and she tried to console you, but we all knew there was little anyone could do for you at that point. I gave him his birthday present and I apologized and said goodbye to everyone.
A sadness came over me as we drove the 2 miles to our home. Why? What? How? I has so many questions, I wanted to understand, I wanted to know what scares you so about parties. Maybe it was the unfamiliar home, or all the people, maybe it was the dog. You had been so happy to pick him our a present, you had acted happy to go, but your anxiety stands in the way! Helpless and defeated we enter our home, Timbrlee and Breckell ask why were were home so soon and you run up to your room ready to be alone in your own world of books and cards. I am sad, not for the party, but for you, wishing I could understand you, talk with you about, so sad for the lonely world you live in.
You can make us laugh, you will talk about the most random thing! We were sitting around the dinner table having our Sunday dinner, we were taking turns telling stories when out of the blue you said "Lauren tuted in Walmart" I turned to you and replied "she did, and what did you do?"
"I laugh" then you covered your mouth with your hand and did an opened mouth laugh! The whole table laughed with you, you had shared a memory with us! We felt like we were apart of your world for a moment. Then it was over, you turned to your food and didn't share anymore.
You were invited to a birthday party, you don't like birthday parties, especially your own. I was thrilled that you had been invited, at age 7 this was your second birthday party that you've been invited to! But I was unsure what to do. This boy was in your school class, but his needs aren't as sever as yours, I decided to have you pick him out a present and I would go with you to the party. As soon as we pulled up to his driveway you started to panic! You could hear the kids playing in the backyard as we exited the car, you reached up for me to carry you and I did. As we rang the doorbell you heard a dog bark, the door opened and you burst into tears. Your legs wrapped around my waist and your arms clung to my neck. You buried your head in my neck and I knew there was no way we were going to be staying for the birthday party. Your teacher was there and she tried to console you, but we all knew there was little anyone could do for you at that point. I gave him his birthday present and I apologized and said goodbye to everyone.
A sadness came over me as we drove the 2 miles to our home. Why? What? How? I has so many questions, I wanted to understand, I wanted to know what scares you so about parties. Maybe it was the unfamiliar home, or all the people, maybe it was the dog. You had been so happy to pick him our a present, you had acted happy to go, but your anxiety stands in the way! Helpless and defeated we enter our home, Timbrlee and Breckell ask why were were home so soon and you run up to your room ready to be alone in your own world of books and cards. I am sad, not for the party, but for you, wishing I could understand you, talk with you about, so sad for the lonely world you live in.
A Mother's Heart
Dear Malia
You've been waking up at 3am the last couple of weeks, you haven't done this in almost a year. Just as I thought we had your sleeping going well your having trouble again. The scary thing about this is you don't come into our bedroom like other children would do if they wake up in the night. No not you, you go downstairs, turn on all the lights and search for food! Dad got up last night with you when we heard you down there, you had gotten into Breckell's birthday donuts and were enjoying an early morning snack. He brought you back upstairs and we started the long morning of helping you get back to bed. After an hour of back and forth you ended up in my bed!! This was a rare moment for me, I loved it, you don't like to hug or cuddle, but you were tired enough that I got to sleep by you last night! You didn't want me to wrap my arms around you, but you would let me lay close to you and that in it's self was wonderful. I had a hard time winding down, long after you were fast asleep I laid there thinking of you, how different the world must seem through your eyes, than through mine.
My heart ached for how lonely a world you must live in, communication is hard for you, you struggle with putting your thoughts into words, and on top of that your speech can be hard to understand. When you do fee like talking, there are times when none of us understand what you are saying. We want to understand, but you don't like to say things twice and by the third you have moved on with a new thought and we are left not knowing what you were thinking.
Oh the things you must think!
You are so smart, much smarter than we give you credit for!! You have our home figured out to a T, you know all of us and you know how to time what you are wanting. Just like yesterday when Breckell woke up on her birthday to balloons covering her floor and streamers all over the room, she also had several boxes of candies. We spend 20 minutes or so in her room talking and celebrating her spacial day, then we all went downstairs for breakfast, you came down to, but once we all busy doing our morning routine, you headed back upstairs and helped yourself to her birthday candy, you got through one box and was working on box #2 when we found you! Oh yes you are much smarter than we give you credit for! To Breckell I give her my admiration, she didn't blink an eye, after so many years of living with you these things are expected and we all went on with the morning without a bump!
I love you Malia, I adore you, Dad and I know you are a treasure above measure, and we take ilfe day by day, knowing without any doubt that someday after this life has passed we will know you and you will be able to talk with us, and we will be able to laugh about all the times you were one up on us!
With all a Mother's LOVE!
-Love Mom
You've been waking up at 3am the last couple of weeks, you haven't done this in almost a year. Just as I thought we had your sleeping going well your having trouble again. The scary thing about this is you don't come into our bedroom like other children would do if they wake up in the night. No not you, you go downstairs, turn on all the lights and search for food! Dad got up last night with you when we heard you down there, you had gotten into Breckell's birthday donuts and were enjoying an early morning snack. He brought you back upstairs and we started the long morning of helping you get back to bed. After an hour of back and forth you ended up in my bed!! This was a rare moment for me, I loved it, you don't like to hug or cuddle, but you were tired enough that I got to sleep by you last night! You didn't want me to wrap my arms around you, but you would let me lay close to you and that in it's self was wonderful. I had a hard time winding down, long after you were fast asleep I laid there thinking of you, how different the world must seem through your eyes, than through mine.
My heart ached for how lonely a world you must live in, communication is hard for you, you struggle with putting your thoughts into words, and on top of that your speech can be hard to understand. When you do fee like talking, there are times when none of us understand what you are saying. We want to understand, but you don't like to say things twice and by the third you have moved on with a new thought and we are left not knowing what you were thinking.
Oh the things you must think!
You are so smart, much smarter than we give you credit for!! You have our home figured out to a T, you know all of us and you know how to time what you are wanting. Just like yesterday when Breckell woke up on her birthday to balloons covering her floor and streamers all over the room, she also had several boxes of candies. We spend 20 minutes or so in her room talking and celebrating her spacial day, then we all went downstairs for breakfast, you came down to, but once we all busy doing our morning routine, you headed back upstairs and helped yourself to her birthday candy, you got through one box and was working on box #2 when we found you! Oh yes you are much smarter than we give you credit for! To Breckell I give her my admiration, she didn't blink an eye, after so many years of living with you these things are expected and we all went on with the morning without a bump!
I love you Malia, I adore you, Dad and I know you are a treasure above measure, and we take ilfe day by day, knowing without any doubt that someday after this life has passed we will know you and you will be able to talk with us, and we will be able to laugh about all the times you were one up on us!
With all a Mother's LOVE!
-Love Mom
To My Darling Malia
Malia, how would I
describe you? In a mother's words you are active, there is never a dull moment
with you, or a sane one. I try to read to you, or give you love, but you seem
to not enjoy it. I feel disconnected from you, like I don't know the right
things to do or say. I feel like I see your world from the outside, I can't
seem to get in no matter how hard I try. And oh I try. Double the amount of
time is spent on you, than any of my other children, and yet here I am looking
through a locked door pleading for you to open it!
I try to imagine how your future would be but I can't see ahead. This was probably the biggest loss for me when you were diagnosed with autism, in an instant all the hopes and dreams a mother has were ripped from me, replaced with uncertainty, doubt and denial. Lots of denial, you were only 3 years old! How could my child have an illness and me as a mother not know. I was helpless and so confused. I wanted to know how to fix it, I needed a cure, that's what we do as mothers right? When children get hurt they cry to their mothers ask for a bandaid and we fix it. We make everything all better. But not you, no you don't want attention, you won't tell me when you are hurt, even when I saw your toe gouged and bleeding I asked you what happened and you told me nothing you were fine. I tried to get you cleaned up, but you refused. You didn't want me to give you any personal attention. I do it anyway but you end up mad at me, low growls of frustration as you splash water on me as I'm cleaning your toe.... I feel helpless.
The one thing that helps me through the day is your smiles. Through all your struggles you smile, you have a contagious smile, when you choose to give it you brighten up a room and all around you, we feel Jesus's love, your spirit is tender, easily hurt. You don't like confrontation or disagreements. You hide when people are at the house that you don't know, probably because you don't like change.
Change, that's a big word for you. Daddy was home yesterday morning before your bus came, and he is usually gone, it was so hard for you. You acted out with door slamming, throwing food and spilling drinks off the counter. You screamed and jumped up and down, then hit whatever was closest to you all the while screaming in a low frustrating growl. It was all daddy and I could do to keep your away from destroying things until your bus came.
After we put you on the bus I did two things. I text your teacher and gave her a heads up about your morning which isn't uncommon, they need to know what to expect because they never know what your going to pull. And second I collapsed on the couch and signed a big sigh. I had done it. I have made it through another morning. Daddy commented while I lay sprawled on the couch "now I know why your so tired at 8 in the morning."
Your school is sent from Heaven above. Nine children in the classroom, one teacher and two aids. You get one on one everyday. They adore you there, but also expect you to behave, which is a struggle for them. But you love school its predictable, its always the same and you have been in the same classroom for 2 years. Although you are in a self contained classroom you are expected to sit at a desk and listen to the teacher for 3 minute sessions. Our goal is 5 minutes. We held you back in first grade to see if you can meet some of your goals. You see you don't get grades like everyone else you have individual goals that we (your teachers, therapists, and I) make for you. Well last year you didn't meet many of those goals, so we modified them to help you. Progress is slow, you still don't understand numbers, they are a foreign language to you, but you are learning your letters. Writing is extremely difficult, your fine motor skills are poor, after 2 years of practicing your name, it's legible to your teachers and me! Other letters are difficult and will take time.
Your cute little body is the size of a 5 year old, so many people don't stare or think that you have autism at first. They excuse your energy on youth, which is fine by me. Your 8th birthday is approaching and I've struggled with knowing if we should get you baptized. First and foremost it could scare you, I'm taking you to a baptism today, daddy and I will try and talk to you about it. TRY, I guess I say try because it doesn't always work, if you are not in the mood to talk you will turn your head and pretend you didn't hear me, then sometimes when you do hear me you don't know how to get out your thoughts, so you will say something random or answer "yes...no". We tend to go around in circles more confused than when we started, inwardly pleading to understand what you are thinking or feeling, most of the time ending up feeling empty and sad. Wishing we could communicate with you someone get into your head and learn all about you. What is your favorite color? Where do you like to go? Who did you interact with at school today? Who are your friends? What games did you play in school today? How did you get hurt? But these questions go unanswered because you don't know how to share. Yes you can talk, you have words, but using them is difficult, sharing thoughts or emotions are impossible. What a frustrating world you must live in. All the adventures you have and yet not knowing how to open up and share them. I took you to counseling for over a year. I didn't see any progress and it didn't seem to make a difference. I find hope that you have a good home, people who love you and are doing their very best for you. This brings me comfort!
Oh Malia, I love you! How could I not? Look at your adorable big smile. You are a treasure, you are here in our family to teach us unconditional love, patience, kindness, selflessness, forgiveness and endurance. We are so glad you came to our home, dad and I are honored to be your parents, no matter the challenges we wouldn't trade you for the world!
Find me on Facebook
Stacee Smith or Stacee's Memory Maker
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stacees-Memory-Maker/113443705469941
http://staceesmemorymaker.blogspot.com
I try to imagine how your future would be but I can't see ahead. This was probably the biggest loss for me when you were diagnosed with autism, in an instant all the hopes and dreams a mother has were ripped from me, replaced with uncertainty, doubt and denial. Lots of denial, you were only 3 years old! How could my child have an illness and me as a mother not know. I was helpless and so confused. I wanted to know how to fix it, I needed a cure, that's what we do as mothers right? When children get hurt they cry to their mothers ask for a bandaid and we fix it. We make everything all better. But not you, no you don't want attention, you won't tell me when you are hurt, even when I saw your toe gouged and bleeding I asked you what happened and you told me nothing you were fine. I tried to get you cleaned up, but you refused. You didn't want me to give you any personal attention. I do it anyway but you end up mad at me, low growls of frustration as you splash water on me as I'm cleaning your toe.... I feel helpless.
The one thing that helps me through the day is your smiles. Through all your struggles you smile, you have a contagious smile, when you choose to give it you brighten up a room and all around you, we feel Jesus's love, your spirit is tender, easily hurt. You don't like confrontation or disagreements. You hide when people are at the house that you don't know, probably because you don't like change.
Change, that's a big word for you. Daddy was home yesterday morning before your bus came, and he is usually gone, it was so hard for you. You acted out with door slamming, throwing food and spilling drinks off the counter. You screamed and jumped up and down, then hit whatever was closest to you all the while screaming in a low frustrating growl. It was all daddy and I could do to keep your away from destroying things until your bus came.
After we put you on the bus I did two things. I text your teacher and gave her a heads up about your morning which isn't uncommon, they need to know what to expect because they never know what your going to pull. And second I collapsed on the couch and signed a big sigh. I had done it. I have made it through another morning. Daddy commented while I lay sprawled on the couch "now I know why your so tired at 8 in the morning."
Your school is sent from Heaven above. Nine children in the classroom, one teacher and two aids. You get one on one everyday. They adore you there, but also expect you to behave, which is a struggle for them. But you love school its predictable, its always the same and you have been in the same classroom for 2 years. Although you are in a self contained classroom you are expected to sit at a desk and listen to the teacher for 3 minute sessions. Our goal is 5 minutes. We held you back in first grade to see if you can meet some of your goals. You see you don't get grades like everyone else you have individual goals that we (your teachers, therapists, and I) make for you. Well last year you didn't meet many of those goals, so we modified them to help you. Progress is slow, you still don't understand numbers, they are a foreign language to you, but you are learning your letters. Writing is extremely difficult, your fine motor skills are poor, after 2 years of practicing your name, it's legible to your teachers and me! Other letters are difficult and will take time.
Your cute little body is the size of a 5 year old, so many people don't stare or think that you have autism at first. They excuse your energy on youth, which is fine by me. Your 8th birthday is approaching and I've struggled with knowing if we should get you baptized. First and foremost it could scare you, I'm taking you to a baptism today, daddy and I will try and talk to you about it. TRY, I guess I say try because it doesn't always work, if you are not in the mood to talk you will turn your head and pretend you didn't hear me, then sometimes when you do hear me you don't know how to get out your thoughts, so you will say something random or answer "yes...no". We tend to go around in circles more confused than when we started, inwardly pleading to understand what you are thinking or feeling, most of the time ending up feeling empty and sad. Wishing we could communicate with you someone get into your head and learn all about you. What is your favorite color? Where do you like to go? Who did you interact with at school today? Who are your friends? What games did you play in school today? How did you get hurt? But these questions go unanswered because you don't know how to share. Yes you can talk, you have words, but using them is difficult, sharing thoughts or emotions are impossible. What a frustrating world you must live in. All the adventures you have and yet not knowing how to open up and share them. I took you to counseling for over a year. I didn't see any progress and it didn't seem to make a difference. I find hope that you have a good home, people who love you and are doing their very best for you. This brings me comfort!
Oh Malia, I love you! How could I not? Look at your adorable big smile. You are a treasure, you are here in our family to teach us unconditional love, patience, kindness, selflessness, forgiveness and endurance. We are so glad you came to our home, dad and I are honored to be your parents, no matter the challenges we wouldn't trade you for the world!
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Stacee Smith or Stacee's Memory Maker
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stacees-Memory-Maker/113443705469941
http://staceesmemorymaker.blogspot.com
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