School Days

A call from your teacher, not uncommon, we keep in close contact throughout the week, but this call was one that I dread!
"Hi Mrs. Smith, Malia is having a hard day, she is unwilling to work.  When we put a paper in front of her she will rip it. She then pulled off her shoes and socks and threw them, we tried to calm her with taking her away from the situation, we put on her weighted vest, took her to a quiet room and read her a book, we are trying our best to help her calm.  But as soon as we bring her back into the class room she will start up again.  We thought she just needed more attention so we split off into groups, which she is in her own group but she then started ripping things off the walls and tore some pages our of my notebook.  We had to put her in a restraint chair which buckles her in, and put her in a time out.  We have lunch in 45 minutes so we will take her to lunch, get her afternoon medicine and then see how she does."
I felt a flood of emotions, sorry for your behavior and having your teachers to deal with you acting that way.  Worried for you and wondering why you are acting this way.  Frustrated, feeling helpless on how to help you work through this difficult time you are having."
"I'm so sorry, if you would like me to come get her I don't mind, I can be there in 5 minutes."
"I'll let you know after lunch.  We just wanted to keep you aware of what is happening.  We will talk soon."
With that I hung up the phone and turned to Dad who was home until lunch time. 
"Malia's on one of her fits at school."  I report to him.
"What should we do for her?" He asked with concern.
"I don't know, they will let us know after lunch if we should pick her up."
Well you seemed to settle a little after lunch so you stayed at school!

That night I thought it would be good for you to just have some time with me, so we went upstairs and I put you in the tub and just tried to talk with you, you told me you were bad at school.  My arms draped over the garden tub and you took soap and washed my arms and hands.  It was so nice and relaxing and then when it was time for bed you let me rub your back and feet while I sang to you.  It was so great, I was hoping this would help you to relax and get a good night's sleep!

The Next Day
It was 9:20 a.m. you had been in school for one hour, and I was teaching zumba. When my phone rang.
"Mrs. Smith, this is the nurse at Malia's school, Malia had a child in her class throw up.  I took her temperature and it's 99 degrees.  It's not high, but she may be getting sick,"
Deep down I knew you weren't sick, but that you were having another hard day and they were already done.
"Okay I will come and get her, would you like me to pick her up in your office or from her classroom?"
"I'll keep her here until you come."
"Okay, I'll see you soon."
I left my zumba early and headed to school when I received a text from your classroom.
"Sorry we had someone in our room throw up, so we checked every one's temps, hers was a little high, but I think she was just warm, we will keep her if that's okay with you, sorry for the phone call earlier."
That was a relief to me! Glad you were feeling okay and that you were doing better in class this day.
But it didn't last, you were determined that I was coming to get you, so you made sure everyone knew you were upset.  You took off your shirt again, so they had to put your jacket on you backwards and zip it up the back, then you tore posters off the walls and work papers, you pounded on your desk and screamed uncontrollably, so they had to put you in the restraint chair again!  AHHH it was more than a mom can handle and I'm sure your teachers cold handle.

So the next morning, which is today you were already starting in the the screaming, fighting with Enoch and throwing things, so I called the school and told them you were sick and needed a day off.  So you have been home with me, and for the most part been good. 
The worst part is, you can't open up and tell me why you are upset, you can't tell me what is going in inside that pretty red head of yours.  As your mother I love you unconditionally and have a constant desire to understand you better and help you work through trials, but here I am again, only able to treat the symptoms, because I don't know the diagnosis! 

I LOVE you girly, I pray for you everyday and just hope that all that I am doing will be enough when it is all said and done!
With all a Mother's Love