Malia was dropped off by dad. She did not transition easily. Dad hugged her to say goodbye, and Malia's eyes immediately began watering profusely. The therapist gently took her hand and said they were going to music so she didn't need to worry. She smiled and followed the therapist but still appeared shaken. She immediately got out the schedule and opened it up, and the therapist reminded her that the hello song comes before the schedule. She smiled and nodded and found a chair to sit in. She played through the first verse fine but began to frown and become sad during the second. She started crying a little bit, and the therapist asked her if she wanted to just listen to the rest of the song to which she said yes. The therapist played the remainder of the song, and Malia went to the corner to cry. The therapist asked if she was sad about her dad hugging her outside and waiting too long, and she said yes. She attempted to tell her that her dad simply loved her and just wanted a hug goodbye, but this did not seem to help. The therapist turned her back to her and blew bubbles and played the I spy game with colors. Malia engaged in the I spy game after a few verses and agreed to going outside to pop bubbles with castanets. It took 15 minutes for Malia to calm down to do this. Upon coming back inside for music, the therapist asked what was next on the schedule. Malia took off her boots, and sand poured out of the boots all over the carpet. The therapist said, "uh-oh", and Malia began crying. She was consoled when the therapist offered the solution that it wasn't a big deal since it could be vacuumed up easily. She helped the therapist find the vacuum, plug it in, and turn it out, and return it. After this, Malia still refused to use the schedule. The therapist got out the ocean drum, a preferred instrument and Malia asked for it. The therapist attempted to play with it, but Malia tore it away and said no. The therapist said that the instrument needed to be shared or else she could not play with it. Malia turned away and held onto it, showing that she clearly did not want to give it to the therapist. The therapist took it away and explained that she could have it back if she shared. She became behavioral and cried while kicking the wall. She also tried to knock a few things over. These behaviors were ignored. Objects that she attempted to throw were immediately taken out of her range, and she appeared upset by this. The therapist once again turned her back to Malia and engaged in play with a Mr. Potato head and put things in the wrong places which made Malia laugh. Malia would come over, put the items in the correct place on the potato head, and then return back to her corner. She finally sat down to play with it after about 5 minutes of this and played with the potato head with the therapist.
My Precious little Malia,
I have been very sick this last month. I went to the ER a 4 days before your 8th birthday. Your world got turned upside down. Dad stayed home for a week, Lauren took care of you and the house. Dad took care of Halloween, your birthday, my birthday and tried to keep a routine for you, but it has thrown you over board. This has been so hard for you and although I am up and doing more now, you are still struggling.
Lately you seem to take bad words and saying them over and over again. You can't control it you will cover your mouth to try to keep them from coming. It is so sad to see you struggle with this. You've also been sticking out your tongue profusely. It has become a major problem for all who work with you, and you often will get your color changed at school for doing so.
I feel so helpless. As a mother I have an inner desire to help you over come your obstacles. Yet our communication is blocked. I often feel as though I am talking to a wall when I try to talk with you. The basic such as where are we going, what do you want to eat. These are easy topics. Yet anything to do with school, behavior, tooth fairy, church, relationships. This is the block! These things aren't tangible and thus we are at a stand still with our communication. This tears at my heart, I year to bond with you in this way. I want nothing more than to know how you are feeling, what are you thinking, how was school? Yet this is our life, this is what we were given and I can only have the hope that all these things shall give us experience and be for our good.
I love you Malia, your trials are large, you must feel so trapped not being able to express your thoughts, you must feel lonely and misunderstood often. This breaks my heart, yet I don't know how to help. I do all I can and hope that in the end it will be enough.
I love you, I adore you, you are a treasure, a true gift and miracle from Heavenly Father.
With all my love
-Mommy
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